BUSBOOM

2006-05-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to sound depressed by this post or anything...but I seriously am having a hard time seeing what the point of life is, or better yet, what are we supposed to do? No matter what happens, I keep feeling like I am working my ass off and I am not getting anywhere. So no I am just tired and don't see the point so much. I know that in life, our goal is to make ourselves and those around us happy; I don't know how. I find something that makes me happy and I hold on, but eventually I get board with it and just feel tired. Why is this?

Also, there are a lot of good things happening to the people I care about and I want to feel happy for them, but I am not. I feel totally jealous, and I don't want to talk to them anymore. This bugs me. My friend is having twins, other friends are graduating and getting married, or buying new cars or moving into their own appartments or getting me pets, and I just feel...sad. I am totally trying to be happy for them, but in reality I just want to have a drink and go to sleep so I don't have to think anymore.

Sorry about me ramblings, I just needed to get this off my chest. Don't feel like you can't tell me good news, I will be happy for you. I love you all.

->boom

OMGD What is Going On??

2006-04-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

I am so lost right now. With all my tests and work and friends and what not... I can't remember what is going on each day. Today I just work 2-10:30pm and tomorrow I think that I work, but don't know when. I can't wait until finals week is over...

Hope that everyone elses finals are going good and that they kick their ass. Have fun this summer!!

TTFN
-> Boomski

My News...

2006-03-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

OK...I tried posting something the other day and it didn't work, so now I can.

First off...I was pissed this morning, because UNO was still in school. It got let out at 1pm, better late than never, I didn't have my night class, but damn, I still had to be in class by 8am for an exam. Luckily for me, I get to veg. out all night.

Second, and more exciting, I got my first tattoo. My parents don't know, so shhhhh!!! But I love it, you can see it on my facebook thingy. I need to go back and either get it finished or colored, so if you have any input with color, let me know.

Third, St. Patty's Day sucked. I got some kind of sick pucky thingy, and pucked all morning, had to go to Emericare and get rehydrated and drugged up, so I did feel drunk and not remember much, but it wasn't in a good way. At least I wasn't out with the drunks. A'well. Hope you all had a wonderful break and snow day.

TTFN
-> Boomski

Right Here Waiting

2006-03-20T17:53:00.000-08:00

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for youI

took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Richard Marx

No More Stess

2006-03-11T08:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, so the stress is over. My ride-along kinda sicked. The first call was to a house fire, and the 3 victims were just fine, no problems breathing. All I could do there was try to keep them calm. The second call was a 400lb women having an asthma attack, so the firemen took care of her. And those were the only two calls I went on all night, and I was there for 6 hrs.

Next, finally Spring Break is here, for UNL/UNO. Now I get to know what it is like to sleep in. I had 3 tests last week and they all kicked my ass, fortunatly, I passed them all. I hope that everyone has a great Spring Break and I will talk to you later.

-> Boomski

Hands To Heaven

2006-02-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

Hands To Heaven

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve

God give me strength when I am leaving...

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
Morning has come, another day

I must pack my bags and say goodbye...

2006-02-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

So, what's happening?? Not much here. Just really freakin' stressed this week. I have an exam on Friday and my ride-along on Saturday. And I am still ready to shit a brick.

Also, one of my friends is driving me nuts and I want to strangle her.

So overall I am really wigging out. Maybe I'll have a drink or two tonight to help me relax. Love you all.

-> Boomski

ME...again

2006-02-22T21:16:00.000-08:00

Wow... Sorry if this blog is a bit crazy (like I am not) but I will admit to being slightly intoxicated.

I am so scared about next Saturday. I have my first ride along with the Omaha Fired Department. Yeah the Saturday night before spring break, at the station that is down town. When I saw when and where I was going, I about shit myself. Well, at least it will be good practice. I past my test, which was good, because if you don't pass the test, you don't pass the class. Tomorrow I have to do a bunch of running around, trying to get the rest of my uniform, and figure out where I am going.

I was going to ask...If you read this...Steph, how was it with your first time with a patient?? Sorry I am asking you all of these questions, but you are one of the only people I know in the medical field. Anywho...I have to go to bed, before I pass out at the computer. Hope you all have a great week and a wonderful Spring Break.

-> Boomski

2006-02-09T20:31:00.000-08:00

OMGD!!! So tonight in my EMT-Basic class we learned how to bag people and tube them...so cool. Of course we can't tube them, but at least we know how. We had a quiz tonight and I got a B. I was really pissed, because on my first one, I got an A+. But anywho...

I don't know if I have written this yet, but Jason got into a car wreck. If you know Jason, this is not a good thing. No insurance, licence, not registration, and false plates. Very, very bad. But he's doing better, trying to get a second job, and not driving anymore. I know he messed up really bad, but the fact that he was sober is good, and the fact that he is trying to make things right, makes me proud of him. I am actually more mad at the insurance companies. Yeah, I understand that it costs them more to insure high-risk drivers, but at the same time they won't be able to pay that much and they are still going to drive anyway. They need to be able to get to their jobs so they can try to be able to, one day, afford insurance, and be able to pay all their other bills. SHIT!!

Sorry about my ranting and raving. But other than that things are going good. Hope everyone else is having a good yr. TTFN

-> Boomski

Missing You

2006-01-25T12:14:00.000-08:00

Ok...So I know it has been awhile since I have written anything. I suck at life...more so, I suck at blogging. Anywho...my life has been really hectic lately, I am becoming a supervisor at Runza, in hopes of getting a pay raise, and I am taking 16 credit hours, which is a record for me. I really miss Lincoln and the freedom I had to walk around campus and have everything be so close. I miss studying in the Union til 12am with Little Erin, and not really getting any studying done. Mostly, I miss the people, all my friends down there who were only a 10 min walk away. Also, I miss not having a job, but that's besides the point.

I really want to come back and visit, but right now I am trying to get back into the swing of school and work. Sadly enough, I am already failing two classes. On the bright side, I know that I'll be able to bring up my grades. My EMT-Basic course is really cool and I think that being a paramedic is what I am meant to do. Our teacher tells us many stories that apply to what we are learning in class, which helps us to remember the material better.

Hopefully I will be able to come visit soon. Little Erin, when is this random Prom Bone again?? Get ahold of me. TTFN.

Love Boomski

Ps. Did I mention I miss Anatomy class?? Ahhhhhh *tear*

Shit Son

2005-12-09T13:28:00.000-08:00

Finals!!! Oh shit son!! I don't know how this is going to turn out. I have a party to go to the night before and I planned to get wasted...it should make my tests the next morning really interesting. Anyhow...good luck to all you out there taking massively sucky tests next week. You rock!!

-> Boomski

Life....

2005-12-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

Hey...sorry it's been so long since I wrote last. Been busy with classes and know with dead week and then finals week and the holidays, I think I am about to crack. Tonight was the first night I really got to just sit on my ass in a long time. I watched an old movie with my mom, call "Holiday Inn." Very good. Anywho...

Oh yeah, Jason and I got into a fight last Sunday, he thought that it would be funny to try to piss me off, and it wasn't. Shit happens I guess...we are fine now, I just try not to get pissed off at the little stuff, and try to ignor him when he tries to be mean.

I found out that a girl that I've know since the 5th grade is engaged...congratulations to her...but what about the rest of us?? hehe My friend Heather is still pregnant with twins...thank God. And Jason's sister is going to have a baby boy in April (he is still freaked out by that!)

Other than that, life is normal. Hope everyone has a great week and good luck with finals.

-> Busboom

Swwet Child Of Mine

2005-10-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face S
he takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o' mine

-> Guns and Roses

Bowling and Shit

2005-10-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

So I really suck at bowling. I try so hard and then get frustrated, which makes me do even worse, and ultimately...I fail. My team still says that I do a good job, because i stay within 20 pins of my average, but I feel like I suck. A'well. We were going to make a team shirt: green ty-dye hoodie with the sleeves cut off and "Shiznittlebam" on the back, haven't gotten around to it yet.

In good news...Halloween is coming and I am stoked!! But I still don't know what's going on. And I am tired, I stayed up until 4:45am to write a stupid paper on the fall of the Roman Empire. Anyhow...I'll be going now. Love you all.

-> Boomski

Wanted Dead Or Alive

2005-10-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

It's all the same, only the names will change
Everyday it seems we're wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
I'd drive all night
Just to get back home

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or aliveWanted dead or alive
Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're alone and all you do is think

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive

I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back
I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, still I'm standing tall
I've seen a million faces
And I've rocked them all

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive

-> Bon Jovi

My New Hobby

2005-10-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

Wow!! So I have discovered that I love to knit. I know that it sounds like something that an old lady would do, but it is totally fun. (Jason calls me his old lady now :) ) Anyhow....I thought that I would just put that out there. I just started and so I really suck, but hopefully with practice, I will get a whole lot better.

Also, work sucks!! My boss is giving me crappy shifts and not enough hours. I am now broke as a joke and I am having trouble paying my bills. (Little Erin...I will be able to pay you in 2 weeks, I have what I owe you budgetted in :) ) But Life sucks with regards to that.

On a positive note, Jason and I are doing a lot better. With my last post, I was pretty sad...He had been really busy and I was totally PMSing and just needed him to talk to me. Anyhow...I had me "nervous breakdown" and now I am fine. Also, Fall Break is coming....YEAH....but all I will be doing is studying my butt off for two exams and one paper. I don't even enjoy this, because the classes I am taking aren't related to my major, but they are pre-req.'s.

Enough bitching on my part for now....TTFN

-> Boomski

I Can't Make You Love Me

2005-09-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
inside my head

Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
don't Patronize

Don't Patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

I'll close my eyes
then I won't see
the love you don't feel
when you're holding me

Morning will come
and I'll do what's right
just give me till then
to give up this fight
and I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

2005-09-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

OMG...Ok, well now I have purple hair...well, red-violet, with blonde heighlights. Yeah.....It is very different, but I like it. And my truck is dead. The clutch went out...*tear* so I don't know when the next time I'll be coming to Lincoln is. Anyhow...I thought that I'd put that out there real quick...Hope everyone is having a great week and weekend...

->Boomski

2005-09-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

I don't really have much to say...But I thought that I'd better post something. Hummm....

I found out that I am going to school with my ex-boyfriend....Larry....icky!! But I haven't seen him in forever and I really don't have any feelings towards him anymore..so I guess if I saw him, I'd wave and keep on walking.

Oh...I am super excited for Halloween...as you know I will be dressing up in God knows what and actually going out in public. Maybe I'll find myself in Lincoln...but I really don't know yet.

I am also really tired lately...and not because I am mot getting enough sleep, but because....I work a lot...I guess. I am getting trained to be a Supervisor so that I can make more money and get a new car. My truck is dying....The head gasket is cracked and the clutch is going out. I really don't want to die young...hehe.

Welp...that's all I've got. I guess I will talk to you later

-> Boomski

BABE YA

2005-09-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

GOING TO THE GAME!!!!

GO HUSKERS!!!!

Shit...I'm Back!!!

2005-09-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

Ok...So I was feeling weird today and thought to myself "I'd really like to talk to someone, but who??" Then I remembered this wonderful thing called a Blog and desided that I should come back. So....Hello??

But really, I am doing alright, school sucks 'cause it isn't my school...It's not Lincoln. Work sucks, 'cause everyone wants hours, but no one wants to work them, and Jason got transfered to a different Runza, which he hates. So now he's a lot more grumpy....But I still love him.

Also, I am not in band anymore...which really sucks. I could do it at UNO, but I don't want to ruine my experience with crap. My friend said that UNO's football games remind her of high school and the whole cheering section is the band.

Life just is kinda' going right now, ya know?? Just doing it, because there is nothing else to do....'cept die....arggg....So now I am going to go take a nap in hopes that when I wake up, it will be on better terms with life. TTFN

-> Boomski

Nothing

2005-08-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

"Live from 'Black T.V.' White folks are dead, so we get the fuck out of here"
-> Scary Movie

Hey...So it has been awhile since I have written on here. Very interesting. I think that this year will be better...achademically I mean. So far UNO is a lot easier. But what are you going to do?? I miss Lincoln and the band, I am sad to report this, but band people and their friends, were my only friends in Lincoln. I never really got to meet new people I was either in band or studying...Lifes a bitch sometimes. Now I am in Omaha....ohh!! Whatever...I am on a bowling legue which is fun so far...

I am not really in the best mood to be typing...I keep messing up and getting pissed off....TTFN

-> Boomski

Random Thoughts...

2005-05-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

Humm...so I haven't written anything for awhile. What should I say??

I am tired and I want to go to bed.

*I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink, but come a little bit closer, see, roses really smell like poo poo pooo.*

I've been working and hanging out, trying to catch up with friends and what not. My brother got a job at a Runza, not the same one that I am at...It is so cute to watch him take orders...I just want to cry

*Here I am, Rock you like a huricane.*

I keep getting called fat by this little, black dude from Togo, that I work with. I am going to kill him or become anorexic. Hopefully neither, but seriously...what an asshole. I know I am not perfect and far from skinny...but I was happy with just being myself...IF YOU READ THIS SPIKE....YOU CAN GO TO HELL!! Not that I am pissed or anything...

*The sailors say 'Brandy, your a fine girl, what a good wife you would be. Your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea.'*

So now, I think I am going to bed....Those of you that I said I would call...I will, I just haven't been having the greatest week and I am tired so I will talk to you later. Have a great night y'all.

Love
-> Busboom

Hello

2005-05-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

Umm.....Welp, it is summer time and I am working my ass off, which is probably a good thing. But seriously, I am having really weird dreams about one of my professors trying to kill me and being taken to my Anatomy lab to take the practicle. I don't know, but they are all dreams about weird situations and what I have do to to get out of them.

On another note, I have to go to Lincoln today to pay a bill and to get my transcripts sent to Ceighton University, I will probably end up graduating from there. I don't quite know yet, we'll have to see.

My brother starts his first REAL job today at a Runza. Not the one that I work at, but a different one. I have a couple friends that work there, so he should be ok. Nevertheless, he's my little brother, they just grow up so fast, don't they??

Welp....that's all folks.
-> Busboom

Sugar Bear I'm Worth All That...

2005-05-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

On your keychain is the little baby rabbit's hand...I'm just a dead boby man...

Please...No More

2005-05-05T23:20:00.000-07:00

I can't study anymore...but I really need to. I hung out with Jason tonight and all I could think about was being annoyed with him and wanting to study. He has told me that I look cute two days in a row (which rarely gets said at all) and I am still nervous and scared about my final tomorrow. It isn't util 1 pm, and I have reviewed some stuff. Do you think that if I get to Lincoln and study by like 7:30 or 8 am, I'll be able to do good on the test??

The other night Little Erin told me that I study too much and yet some how I feel that I am not studying enough. My dad is starting to get to me. If I was studying enough then I would be able to get an A in all of my classes...but I can't. Maybe I'll look over some stuff tonight and then get up early...find a way to Lincoln (my car needs some more juice) and study my ass off. But I will talk to y'all later.

Love
-> Busboom

Almost Done

2005-05-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

Arg...So I had 4 finals in the past 24 hours....I am wasted and not in a good, fun drunk sense. I hope I kicked ass on three of them...but I am not sure, they were really hard and my brain hurts.

In good news I had a sex dream last night. Those are always fun. But now it is time to take another nap. Night y'all.

-> Busboom

My Dream Job

2005-04-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

Alrighty...Something that my close friends know about me. They may think that I am sick, for reasons that are somewhat understandable, but I've been thinking about this and maybe I should explain it a bit better.

When I first came to college my major was Pre-Med, but seeing as how I failed a couple semesters, I switched to Nursing. I still plan to go to Med. school someday; I figured it would be good to already have a job in the medical field.

What I want to do with my life is be an OB-GYN. Mainly because I want to deliver babies and get to know the families. I've wanted to do this basically ever since the 6th grade when I saw the movie Father of the Bride, Part II. Think what you want...there are ups and downs in every job. Don't think that I am some kind of a pervert because this is what I really want to do with my life.

Wednesday when I was in my Phys. lab, some people were talking about what kind of medicine they wanted to practice when they went to Med. school. One guy was teasing a girl...asking he if she wanted to be an OB-GYN. The girl gave an icky face and said "Oew...gross!!" Someone else said 'what kind of a person wakes up and desides to be a Gynocologist?' I was sitting across the room and suddenly began to feel discusted with myself.

Later I was talking to my roommate, who felt the same way as the people in my class. Well...damn it. For the last couple of days I've been feeling sick with myself and I shouldn't. We all have our calling in life and if I've wanted to be this since the 6th grade, I shouldn't back out or second guess myself because some other people don't understand where I am coing from. I need to believe in myself, and now I am sticking to my guns. SAy what you want...for me, it is just another area of medicine and different body parts to deal with.

"Do not fuck with us!!" -> Brad Pitt, Fight Club

-> Busboom

Ps. Sorry, I was just a bit pissed off that I second guessed myself in the first place.

A Break Through

2005-04-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

Do you ever watch a show...somethings that's been on TV forever and it suddenly stirs something inside you?? That happened to me tonigh. People have been telling me the same thing for years and now it finally got through my thick skull. "What are we doing kid?? Seriously. Life's too short" ->Big: Sex in the City. He was just lying there next to Carry, and realized that at that moment, she was someone that he seriously wanted to spend his life with. If you are ever caught in that moment, and you know that it is real and not some kind of joke, run with it. What could it hurt. Live in the moment as Erin always is telling me. Also, it's never too late, things can always be right. God knows our plan and knows the plan he has for us, and it will turn out right and if you love Him and yourself and those around you, you will be happy. If you love someone you should tell them, otherwise you might not get too; don't let these moments slip through your fingers.

I found out today that my ex, Larry, is engaged. At first I just laughed. How could he be engaged to a girl that he has only been dating for 6 months or so?? Easy, if he is living in the moment and if he really does love her, than why wait?? Life's too short, right?? You'll know when the irght person comes along. Don't be worried that one won't and don't worry that you're with the wrong one, just "Let the good times roll." ->Stiffler All these things we laugh at can be really good advise, if we'd just listen.

-> Busboom

Life

2005-04-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

Hey, it is me again. Just chilin' but I thought that I'd write something because I am not doing anything else.

I started reading a new romance novel and it is awesome. Kind of different from her other ones. I think it is because she's not describing things as well as in other books but nevertheless, it is still awesome.

Also, I got a nap in today, and I actually fell asleep rather than just lying there, hoping to fall asleep. And I got to talk to my friend Steve-o from UNO. He's such a dork, it's funny. Anyways...later

-> Busboom

Bitchiness...

2005-04-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

So yeah...I haven't been myself lately and for that I'm sorry. But it probably won't change for a while. Maybe I have been bitchy and distant because of school and all of the exams and the fact that I am not passing Physiology or maybe it is because I am trying to work out more and I just keep feeling more and more tired. It seems like almost everything bugs me in some way and I am sorry if I lash out on you...but I am not myself.

Another reason maybe that I haven't gotten my 'monthly bill' yet. This could be due to many reasons...stress, excersize, and the 'morning after pill' that I took acouple months ago, because it does mess up your cycle for a while. I did take a test and I came up negative, but that was last week. So, whatever the reason, I am being a bitch...and for awhile I will probably still be one.

Just needed to get that off my chest.
-> Busboom

Something New

2005-03-29T21:34:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll..what is going down?? Not much here...I just found out that I kicked my Anatomy Lab Practicle in the ASS!!! WoooHoooo. But anyway...I just wanted to see how everything is going for everyone.

I went to the REC tonight...didn't work out too much though, I was kind of tired and I didn't even want to go, but I decided to get off my ass and do a little bit. If I can just get motivated to go a couple times a week, that would help me loose so much weight. So far I am up to going twice a week, but I want to go more.

Unfortunately, I am tired as hell. So I am going to go to bed and study my ass off tomorrow for my psyc. exam. Talk to everyone later.

-> Busboom

Boogie Woogie Wu -> Insane Clown Posse

2005-03-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

The ravenous, blood sick creature,
Searches for it's sacrifice.
Through the hideous darkness, it lurches.
Driven by death itself.
Only the satisfaction of slaughter will
Cause it to return to the darkness from which it came.

*Chorus*
Boys and girls, it's nighty night time.
Happy J the clown has a nursery rhyme.
It's about, The Boogie Woogie Man,
Keep Your Light On As Long As You Can,

Cuz when it cuts off, so does your head,
Boogie Woogie Woogie waits under your bed
With a shank, splahh, up through the bottom.
Little Jimmy Jimmy, uuuhhhh, GOT 'EM!

It's the one and only Boogie Man,
He creeps, he hides, he sneaks, he slides,
If your little feetsies are hanging off the edge of the bed,
You're running on stubs mothafucka!

Well, moonlight fills the room that you sleep in,
Things go bump in the night, me creeping.
OUCH! FUCK, I stubbed my toe!
If you just quit leaving your shit all over the fucking floor.

Fuck it, you're dead anyway,
And I'm gonna leave your head smack dead in the hallway.
In the morning, when your daddy walks out,
Aahhhh, his foot's in your mouth, thanks to the Boogie Man!

*Chorus*

Does the Boogie Man really exist?
Well, is your mother a bald headed freak bitch?
YES, you fall asleep and wake up dead
With a broken broom sticking out your forehead.

I sing lullabies until you dose off, tie you down,
And chew your fucking toes off,
And then spit 'em out back in your face, spppewwaaa.
FUCK, wash your feet bitch!

The world's famous Boogie Woogie Wu will come to you,
Slumber parties, sleep overs, intimate nights,
What ever the ocassion by the midnight hour.
He will gladly come and FUCK that shit up.

I don't beat women, fuck that, I'm above it,
But I'll cut her fucking neck and think nothing of it.
"You Didn't Know The Boogie Man Was A Clown,
But When You See The Juggla, You Holding Your jugular."

With a swing, chop, stab, swing, chop,
You holding your neck together, but your nuts drop.
And the cops do the best they can, they pull the axe out your face and say,
"Was It The Boogie Man? What Was He Wearing?"

*Chorus*

Please don't make me fall asleep,
Cuz the Boogie Man will creep,
Through my window,in my room,
Stab me with a broken broom.

Please don't make me fall asleep,
Cuz the Boogie Man will creep,
Through my window, in my room,
Stoaaahhhh......"BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!"

It's the incredible, undeadable Boogie Man,
Go head, pull the covers over your head,
Hide under them, he don't give a fuck!
It'll just make it that much more easier for him to suffocate your face!

There's three ways to stop me from doing what I do......
What?You think I'm gonna tell you?
"Mom, Can You Leave The Door Open A Bit?"
Thanks, an easy way in you fucking idiot.

Now I stretch your neck out, and play it like a banjo,
Boom, darm, boom, darm, like that shit, yo?
Then I stretch it out more and fling your head through the wall,
It's the Boogie Man y'all!

*Chorus*

New Band

2005-03-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ok...so when I was in high school, I listened to a whole bunch Death/Heavy Metal. Once I came to college, I let it go and kind of started listening to everything. But Jason still listen to heavy stuff and he recently introducted me to a band I would have never listened to on my own. So now I love ICP (Insane Clown Posse).

I know this may not be what a lot of my friends in Lincoln listen to...but it reminds me of who I used to be; I am getting into it a lot more.

love
-> Busboom

He Called

2005-03-21T15:34:00.000-08:00

Jason has been out of town all week, visiting a cousin in Seattle and therefore I didn't see him much during SPRINK BREAK *sadness*. But he called me today and we talked for 3 minutes. He was on some boat and was having a good time. I miss him so much. AHHHH!!! But what are you going to do?? He comes back really late tomorrow night, so he said he'd call me. I can't wait to see him on Monday, maybe...I guess that's more up to him. But anyway...I was just excited so I wrote it down.

-> Busboom

Music

2005-03-20T17:44:00.000-08:00

Yesss...Finally I got some music on my computer. After my last hard-drive crashed...well, I lost all of my music. Now I got some more...I am so excited.

But I am sad that SPRING BREAK is over...I have so much shit to do this week...I'll be studying a lot. But I hope that all of your break's were good.

TTFN tata for now

Just Thinking Today

2005-03-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

I was watching a movie today, Under the Tuscan Sun and it helped me to realize how much I actually have and that I should be very thankful for everything. This is a movie that I would recommend for anyone, especially the people who are confused or frustrated with love.

I know I got lucky, I have Jason, and even though sometimes I don't think that it will last or that I might be making a mistake...we're still young; we have all the time in the world to get to know one another. Plus we love each other and All you need is love ;)

So my basic message is to just be yourself and love who you are and the right person will see you in your own light, shinning and love you because your you and because you love yourself and your life. Don't take anything for granted and be thankful everyday for what you have and for your experiences

SPRING BREAK!!

2005-03-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

Finally...the thing that we've all been waiting for is here.

Sorry...

2005-03-06T00:20:00.000-08:00

Hey...ummm yeah...Last night was a lot of fun...granted it is still the same night as it was when I posted last. But now I am sober. I was gone...not too much as to where I couldn't remember what was going on...but enough to be embarrassed by some of my actions. True...I happen to be a very honest drunk...but what I don't realize, in the state of being drunk...is that some things should be kept to one's self...I am sorry if I hurt anyone with my actions, I really didn't mean to. All I can hhope for is that everyone just thought that I was hilarious. I love you all; I know I don't say it enough.

->Busboom

Drunk Post....click

2005-03-05T22:01:00.000-08:00

Matt-> Your fingers aren't curled enough
Matt-> Leave your hand there and push down harder
Matt-> These fingers are hitting it. It's not you, you need a smaller one.

By the way...I'm drunk...not too bad, but enough to want to make-out with someone.

Hells yeah...alcohol sovels so many problems.

Ps. This is my first time using a lab-top....I am a lab-top virgin no more.

Love
Busboom

Pps. Ahhhhh...regular lab-top use causes reduced sperm count...male birth control...Jason...remember this!!!! *i want your big hard cock right now*

Ppps. I wish I had a huge, succulous, harry nut to hang out *with my wang out* -> Stiffler

Pppps. By the way...I am NOW having a good day...although I hung out with my mom most of the day...which was sooo cool. I love my mom to death, I'd do her...if she wasn't my mom. MAMILLIA IS DEAD SEXY!!!! Why my dad doesn't make love to her every night is beyond me... I love her so much. I also love Jason sooo much...I can't even say...he makes me feel like the most beautiful, sexy women in the world... I can't believe I didn't date him when I first had the chance. He is the most amazing, wonderful sexy man...I want to marry him someday but...I guess that's up to him.

Sorry I have been rambling on forever...I tend to do that when I am drunk...ramble and tell the truth.

Ppppps. Bryan Witte is dead sexy as well. AHHHHH.. alnight long...babe yeah!!

A New Blog

2005-03-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

I figured that it was about time that I put something new up on my blog. I can't really think of anything...except for the exams I have next week. It's hard to get motivated to study, but I am trying my best right now.

Also...the weather is so gorgeous outside. It makes me want to puke. kidding. Maybe tonight I'll just do my own thing after the hockey game I am going to. We'll see.

I hope that all is well in your world. Talk to you later.

-> Busboom

Why Read?? (Escape Reality)

2005-02-22T20:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know why or what your reasons are for reading, if you do actually read, but my reason is simple. To escape reality! I don't enjoy the world and how fucked up it can be, so I read. Suddenly I am in a different place and the world has its problems, but things are getting better, everyone works together to get things done. The reality is that the world is far from perfect and it is not getting any better. Everyone fights and argues, a good amount of people don't have any common sense but are "book smart" so they get all the good jobs. This causes the rest of us to work our asses off and still not be like them. So we revolt.

If we don't revolt, we walk around watching, in frustration, how dense the world is. Everyone is in their own little world. I do it too, I'm not saying I don't. But my little world is very pissed off because I am frustrated with the world around me. Hence, if you see me, normally I have headphones plugged into my ears and my nose in a book. I don't like the reality that we live in. So I am bitching about it, because I don't know what to do to make it better. And if I don't know what to do to make it better, I'd like to deal with it as little as possible.

Don't get me wrong...I do deal with it. Everyday and everytime I am walking around. Like today for instance, I tripped and almost fell on my ass (Little Erin you know what I am talking about ;) ) I was just going to let myself fall, who cares?? But we live in a society that looks down on clumsiness, not being prepared, and people who have bloody knees and holes in their jeans. I don't care what people think, but someday I will need to get a job and be able to carry myself, should just get used to it now. That is just one thing to deal with.

This is just ranting and raving...I am pissed off because someone got "upset" because there where some cuss words in a movie. I guess it is just the price we pay for living in America and having to deal with reality.

The Night

2005-02-19T19:12:00.000-08:00

So...I am tired all of the time, except for at night when I should be sleeping. I try to eat right and try not to take naps to get my sleep back on schedule, but I can't. Maybe because I love the night...My roommate Laura says "Why waste the day by sleeping through it?" I say "Why waste the night?" I don't know. In my opinion...the day just seems so busy with people trying to get all of their shit done, there is only so much light in a day and they try to use it the best ways that they know how. The night, on the other hand, is peaceful, a time for relaxing and having fun or just spending time by yourself, doing what you want to do. I love the night and I love sleeping through the day...I am weird I guess..but what are you going to do??

Warts and Books

2005-02-15T20:36:00.000-08:00

I have this wart on my thumb and it won't go away. It really sucks, because I have a hard time not picking at it and when I do it starts to bleed. I mean it gushes and gushes...I can't get it to stop. Ahhhhh!!! So I have been putting this acid stuff on it to try and burn it off, and other than the fact that it hurts and burns the good skin around it, it takes forever to work. GOSH!!

In other news...I have been working on the book Wizard and Glass, so far it is wicked awesome...granted I am only 280 pages into it...but I love it so far. After I finish this book I have to clear some of the others out of the way before I can buy Dark Tower 5. So back to the romance novels that I have stock piled on my shelf.

I hope that ya'll had a great V-Day and if not...I am sorry, but it's over now. The next holiday to celebrate is on March 14, 2005, "Stake and a Blow Job Day." I can't wait. Talk to ya'll later.

-> Busboom

Checking In...

2005-02-12T15:03:00.000-08:00

Hey...It's just me checking in. I hope that everyone is enjoying the weekend...I'm not yet...but I have plans to go out with some of my high school girl friends. I miss them all and haven't seen them...well, since my birthday, which was less than a month ago, but still...Sometimes you can never get enough of good friends.

As for Valentine's Day...I hope that you all have a good day, whether you are going out with the one you love or having an anti-V-Day party, just have fun. I will talk to you all later.

Miss You!!!
-> Busboom

Games People Play => The Alan Parsons Project

2005-02-09T19:53:00.000-08:00

Where do we go from here now that all other children are growin' up
And how do we spend our lives if there's no-one to lend us a hand
I don't wanna live here no more, I don't wanna stay
Ain't gonna spend the rest of my life,
Quietly fading away

Games people play, You take it or you leave it
Things that they say, Honor Brite
If I promise you the Moon and the Stars, Would you believe it
Games people play in the middle of the night

Where do we go from here now that all of the children have grown up
And how do we spend our time knowin' nobody gives us a damn
I don't wanna live here no more, I don't wanna stay
Ain't gonna spend the rest of my life,
Quietly fading away

Games people play, You take it or leave it
Things that they say, Just don't make it right
If I'm tellin' you the truth right now, do you believe it
Games people play in the middle of the night

Games people play, You take it or you leave it
Things that they say, Honor Brite
If I promise you the Moon and the Stars, Would you believe it
Games people play in the middle of the night

Games people play, You take it or leave it
Things that they say, Just don't make it right
If I'm tellin' you the truth right now, do you believe it
Games people play in the middle of the night

I am Dying

2005-02-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

Not really...but I feel like shit. My friend gave me her cold. I called and bitched but what can you do about it now. It just sucks because the Band Banquet is this weekend and so is the SuperBowl and then I have 4 exams. Let me tell you this was the perfect time to contract a cold.

On a good note...my friends Todd and Katherine had their baby boy on Feb. 2, 2005. Congratulations!!

Express Yourself => Madonna

2005-02-01T19:50:00.000-08:00

Hoo
Hoo
Come on, girls
Do you believe in love
‘Cause I got something to say about it
And it goes something like this

Don’t go for second best, baby
Put your love to the test
You know, you know you’ve got to
Make him express how he feels
And maybe then you’ll know your love is real

You don’t need diamond rings
Or 18 karat gold
Fancy cars that go very fast
You know they never last, no, no

What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
Make him love you till you can’t come down
(You’ll never come down)

Don’t go for second best, baby
Put your love to the test
You know, you know you’ve got to
Make him express how he feels
And maybe then you’ll know your love is real

Long stem roses are the way to your heart
But he needs to start with your head
Satin sheets are very romantic
What happens when you’re not in bed

You deserve the best in life
So if the time isn’t right then move on
Second best is never enough
You’ll do much better, baby, on your own
(Baby, on your own)

Don’t go for second best, baby
Put your love to the test
You know, you know you’ve got to
Make him express how he feels
And maybe then you’ll know your love is real

Express yourself(
You’ve got to make him) Express himself
Hey, hey, hey, hey
So if you want it right now, make him show you how
Express what he’s got, oh, baby, ready or not

And when you’re gone he might regret it
Think about the love he once had
Try to carry on, but he just won’t get it
He’ll be back on his knees

To express himself
(You’ve got to make him) Express himself
Hey, hey

What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
Make him love you till you can’t come down
(You’ll never come down)

And when you’re gone he might regret it
Think about the love he once had
Try to carry on, but he just won’t get it
He’ll be back on his knees, so please

Don’t go for second best, baby
Put your love to the test
You know, you know you’ve got to
Make him express how he feels
And maybe then you’ll know your love is real

Express yourself
(You’ve got to make him) Express himself
Hey, hey, hey, hey
So if you want it right now, make him show you how
Express what he’s got, oh, baby, ready or not

Express yourself
(You’ve got to make him) So you can respect yourself
Hey, hey
So if you want it right now, better make him show you how
Express what he’s got, oh, baby, ready or not

Express yourself

A Break

2005-01-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

I am taking a break from the romance novels to read something else. So...now I am back to the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. I am excited because I have been away from these characters for a few months and am interested to see what they're up to now. Plus some of these riddles in the first few chapters are kind of interesting...I may have to use them sometime.

Also...it is nice that my stack of "haven read yet" books are dwindling, while my stack of "done" books is growing...I like to be able to see my accomplishments...it makes me feel special.

If it has been bothering anyone about me posting a lot of songs...I have been having a writers block and they just help me to express what I am feeling...a cheap way out, I know. At least they are pretty and melodic...if you know them.

That's it for now...peace!!

Another Book Entry

2005-01-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

With a choking cry she let herself be taken over the edge, her body clenching and spiraling out of her control. His mouth heightened the effect, bringing her an endless orgasm that seemed to go on forever and yet was not enough. She closed her eyes and just gave herself up to pure feeling, to the beauty of his hands and tongue in her body doing slow merciless things that only made the fire hotter. She was writhing now, her hips unable to stay still beneath the assault on her senses. Then he added his mind, thrusting deeply into hers, picturing things he wanted to do before he did them, so that she could feel her body through his mind, the silken heat, the clenching, tight muscles.

Dark Legend, by Christine Feehan (p. 132)

Nights in White Satin => The Moody Blues

2005-01-27T19:49:00.000-08:00

Nights in white satin
Never reaching the end;
Letters I've written
Never meaning to send

Beauty I'd always missed
With these eyes before;
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore

'Cos I love you
Yes I love you,
Oh! How I love you

Gazing at people
Some hand in hand,
Just what I'm going through
They can't understand

Some try to tell me
Thoughts they cannot defend;
Just what you want to be
You will be in the end

And I love you,
Yes I love you,
Oh! How I love you!
Oh! How I love you!

Nights in white satin
Never reaching the end;
Letters I've written
Never meaning to send

Beauty I've always missed
With these eyes before,
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore

'Cos I love you
Yes I love you,
Oh! How I love you!
Oh! How I love you!

'Cos I love you,
Yes I love you,
Oh! How I love you!
Oh! How I love you!

Late Lamet

Breathe deep the gathering gloom,
Watch lights fade from every room.
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another day's useless energy is spent.

Impassioned lovers wrestle as one;
Lonely man cries for love and has none;
New mother picks up and suckles her son;
Senior citizens wish they were young.

Cold-hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colours from our sight,
Red is gray and yello is white
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion.

Wicked Game => Chris Isaak

2005-01-18T21:26:00.000-08:00

The world was on fire
No one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet sombody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't want to fall in love
(This love is only gonna break your heart)
No, I don't want to fall in love
(This love is only gonna break your heart)
With you
With you

What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
And I don't wanna fall in love
(This love is only gonna break your heart)
And I don't wanna fall in love
(This love is only gonna break your hear)

World was on fire
No one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love
(This love is only gonna break your heart)
No I don't wanna fall in love
(This love is only gonna break your heart)
With you
With you

Nobody love no one

I've always loved this song and I forgot who it was by... but I found it tonight...so I thought that I'd put it up. Sorry...I keep going with the "song on the blog" theme, but at least it is fun, new and interesting. My friend told me that the music video for this song was really ronchy, but want are you going to do?? It sounds cool. Enjoy ;)

Friends

2005-01-18T21:04:00.000-08:00

So yeah...I have this friend, who shall remain nameless. Anyways...this friend and I have had crushes on each other through out the past 3 or 4 years. Tonight we hung out and I felt repulsed by him. It is depressing to think that I spent all of that time having romantic feelings for him and now I don't like him.

He is still a good friend..don't get me wrong...but I can't remember why I was so attracted to him.

So...this summer, when I was dating this "ass clown" he and I got drunk together and kind of messed around with each other. I left to go to my boyfriends house feeling really good because I liked this other guy so much...nothing could ruine my mood. Well...the "ass clown" did ruine it. So I called my friend back because I was depressed and I needed a Booty call. He was already asleep.

Welp...I told him this tonight because we were talking about the last time we got drunk together and this came up. He was pissed because he didn't answer his phone. But now I am glad that nothing really happened because there are no feelings...sometimes I just want to do the "smile and nod" thing when he talks because I really don't care. Is that a bad thing??

Enough rambling...which I tend to do a lot to keep my mind off of Jason. Shit...

How Do I Live => LeAnn Rimes

2005-01-17T21:32:00.000-08:00

How do I,
Get throught one night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I need...
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Babe you would take away everything good in my life,
And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everthing good in my life,
And tell me now,
How would I live without you?
I want to know,
How would I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Good in my life?
And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, how do I live?
How do I live without you?
How do I live without you baby?

I heard this song on the radio when I was driving home and I started thinking about Jason and now that I am not so happy with him...it just made me feel better to put this up...I know it is a sappy love song...but like most girls, no matter how they may refuse to be, are suckers for this shit. I would melt if a guy started to sing this to me...even if his voice cracked, it would make it that much more memorable.

Buttons

2005-01-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

One thing that I hate about boyfriends is that they know how to push your buttons. They, most of them, know what makes you tick and what things piss you off to no end. So, why then, if they love you and want to make you happy do they push your buttons.

My boyfriend knows that if he doesn't call around the time he says he's going to call, give or take and hour, I get really mad. I also get mad if he lies. So why then does he do them??

Many guys that I've talked to say that they don't mean to piss you off, but they don't want to look bad. Like if they're doing something that you prefer them not to do, say smoking weed, you'll get mad if they call and they're high. Or say you get a speeding ticket out of the county, so you violate your parol, you have no insurance and expired plates. They lie and tell you that they made it home fine because they don't want you to worry...they got the speeding ticket on their way home from visiting you.

I really appriciate the fact that they don't want to worry me or disappiont me...but now I am pissed off. So no matter what you do..you're fucked. Just don't do it at all...you'll save yourself a lot of trouble in the end.

I still love you Jason!!

Drugs

2005-01-12T19:40:00.000-08:00

What are your reasions for doing drugs??

I don't do anything, except drinking with friends every now and then. But honestly...why do people do drugs?? It could be the fact that they make you feel good or more relaxed after a busy day or is just something that you can do with your friends...more of a bonding experience.

Look around...there are a lot of people that live perfectly normal lives without doing any sort of drugs. They my have encountered them at one point in time, but your living fine and not having any problems...you probably don't even think about them everyday.

People that I talk to who do some drugs can't understand why it is such a bad thing. They even have me convinced that it really isn't that bad...in some cases, it helps with the task at hand. Doing so much can give you enough energy to get through the day, normally just a little bit. Doing more than just a little bit can make you relaxed and able to sleep better.

One lady even said that alcohol is more dangerous...look at all of the car crashes and deaths do to drunk driving. How many crashes and deaths happen because a group of kids were stoned?? She has a good point.

So here is what I have come up with...if you smoke weed...just a little won't hurt, even a decent amount won't hurt...but if you don't do it and haven't tried it, don't because you are just fine without it.

He's Alive

2005-01-11T13:27:00.000-08:00

He's not in jail...thank God!!

Almost...but he got lucky.

LYING (don't do it!!!)

2005-01-10T17:02:00.000-08:00

Ok...why do people feel the need to lie about important stuff or stupid stuff for that matter?? Especially to people that they love. Why, I ask you.

I won't get mad...Hell, I'll be even more pissed off that you didn't tell me instead of trying to cover it up like nothing even happened. These are some of the cardinal rules of a fucking relationship...COMMUNITATION, TRUST, and HONESTY!!!! I feel like shit because you think that you can't trust me with this kind of stuff.

So now, not only do I feel like crap because I couldn't be there for you when you needed me, and because you feel like you can't trust me...I feel like shit because I am disappointed in you and I have to pretend to feel sorry for you because you're in a jam.

I love Jason to death and I know that I always will...but now I can't help but think that you are lying to me all of the time. How am I ever going to live with what you got yourself into...because of me...and the fact that you didn't tell me about the situation until you're royally fucked???

Please forgive the bad language and the ranting and raving....I am kinda pissed.

What I Did!!

2005-01-02T14:47:00.000-08:00

I let my sister give me a perm!!! At first I looked like a poodle....but now it looks kinda cute. Jason said that he'd do me....and then he did. He's so cute. Now all I need is some more color.

I am so proud of my sister....she is working so hard in beauty school...I don't talk to her much...we're both really busy...but she's awesome.

Ps. I am proud of all of my friends...you guys all work so hard and do such a good job and have the time to laugh with each other. Keep it up and I totally look forward to seeing you in a week ;)

Hey Hey Guys

2004-12-27T19:01:00.000-08:00

Hey...so what's up with everyone??

I've just been working and chilin', although that doesn't happen very often. But I hope that everyone's break has been great and that you have a safe and happy holidays.

See you on the flip flop ;)

Wind

2004-12-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

I love the wind. It feels great against my skin and seems to wash away everything that has been bothering me. If it were up to me, my window would be open all of the time, but my roommate weighs 50lbs less than me and gets cold. Without the wind so many things wouldn't be as they are.

Plants and flowers use the wind so spread their seeds to other plants for fertilization. Some use the wind as a source of power, and I use the wind to help me feel better. Also the wind can carry smell which is one of our biggest ties to memory.

Without the wind all would be lost, and a lot warmer. But I can't think of anything else, except... I love the wind :P

Calm Dowm

2004-12-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

Hey don't be put off by the last two blogs, I just don't really know what to write and so the song lyrics seemed to fit somewhat. I've been listening to a lot of my old CD's of Heavy/Death Metal that I used to listen to in high school. It seems to help me calm down from all of the stress that's been going around on campus. Anyway...I'll try to post more happy stuff later, but for now, just bare with me.

This type of music is the heavy, screaming shit that a lot of people hate, because they can't understand the words, but for me it's a lot more. It is very calming and relaxing to hear someone else scream (and you can control the volume) and not have to do it yourself. Maybe, you should try it some time. I used to fall asleep to the band call Morbid Angel, which is partly where i got my e-mail address from. But if you don't like that, you can still call it Mr. Bad Monkey, Scott ;) Talk to ya'll later.

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

2004-12-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

Grace - in a perfect world
On shines the light
Praise - an angelic song
But there's another side you'll see
Now hide
Salvation easily denied

Reigns - Down with misery
Life's not always what it seems
False hope
Written in the testament of old
Take heed
Stop believing everyword you read
Truth inconsistencies
Distorts the lie
False imprisonment
Forever lost inside your mind
Fates door
Just be careful what you wish for
Death's door
Just be careful what you wish for

Peace of mind I can't find
Don't be blind take the ride

Hey... we live in a fucked up world
Walking on through the demise
We step into the unknown Y
Our better save yourself...

Hey... we live in a fucked up world
Hiding behind the disguise
Never let your feelings show
Why can't you be yourself...
We live in a fucked up world
Walking on through the demise
We step into the unknown
Your better save yourself...

=> Testament

No Defence

2004-12-08T07:51:00.000-08:00

A prison wall was round us both,
Two outcast men we were:
The world had thrust us from its heart,
And God from out his care:
And the iron gin that waits for Sin
Had caught us in its snare.

=> Oscar Wilde, "The Ballad of Reading Goal"

A Romantic Spiel (Dark Fire by Christine Feehan)

2004-12-05T11:56:00.000-08:00

And now he was above her, his face harsh yet sensual, his eyes black, burning coals.

It was happening too fast. Trapped beneath his powerful body, Tempest couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Yet when his teeth scraped the swell of her breast, the erotic enticement sent her arching toward his mouth.

But fear beat at her as his body pinned hers, taking possession as if he had every right to her, as if her were invading her soul so deeply that she would never get him out.

She felt his teeth pierce her breast, sink possessively into her skin, and instantly she stiffened.

But his mind pushed into hers, breaking through every barriers until they were completely one. She felt the heat of her own skin sliding over his, her blood, hot with life and light, flowing into him, his insatiable hunger and terrible need. She saw the erotic images in his head, the things he would do to her. She saw his iron will, his ruthlessness, his merciless, predatory nature.

Darius was everywhere she was. In her body, in her mind, in her heart and soul.

And, God help her, she could deny him nothing....

School is the shits

2004-12-01T13:44:00.000-08:00

I can't figure out why I am still in school. It seems to be such a hassel, parents, money, and stress, why am I doing this?? I know I want to be a nurse and I know that going to school will get me there, but is it really worth all of this crap?? I hope so. All I can think about is getting it over with and paying back my parents and moving out so that I don't have to deal with them. I know that's mean to say, but they are one of the biggest stressors in my life. School, alone, is a lot to handle, let alone my parents telling me that I'm not studying enough or trying hard enough.

Last night, I was thinking about taking a break from school, just a year, to become more financially stable and independent. Many of the people that I talked to about it said that I probably would end up not going back to school. I think that I would, I love learning. But I decided, better not take the chance. So I am planning to stick with it until I get some sort of a degree. I just hope I don't have a nervous break-down in the mean time. Right now, the only thing I look forward to in my day is reading. I never would have thought that, I used to hate reading as a child, maybe it was because I had a serious reading problem and now it is more like a gift or an obsticle that I have finally conquored.

Anyway...if I start acting weirder than normal, it's is just because I am dealing with a lot and I am trying to keep my sanity and sort things out. Thanks for being there...

IF (need something to do??)

2004-11-29T19:59:00.001-08:00

Have you ever read the IF books, either by yourself or with friends or lovers?? If you haven't you should. It is a great ice breaker and a fun thing to do with your friends. If you don't feel like buying a book I am going to list a couple of the questions in it to give you an idea of what it is like.

If you could have anyone in the world say one romantic thing to you, what would it be, and who would utter it?

If you had to have sex simultaneously with two people you know, who would you want them to be?

If you wanted to turn your lover on as quickly as possible, what means would you use?

If you were to identify the biggest turn-off in sex, what would you say it was?

If you had to choose the person with the most remarkable sexual reputation of anyone you've known, who would win?

If you were to describe the kinkiest thing you would do under the right circumstances, what would it be?

If you were to recall the most humorous thing that has happened to you in bed, what would it be?

If you had to smell one food every time you had sex, for the rest of your life, what would it be?

If you had to hear one barnyard sound every time you had an orgasm, what would it be?

So if this doesn't get you thinking or laughing your ass off, I don't know what will. If you are ever bord or are stuck in an uncomfortable situation, just wip these questions out and you'll be feeling better in no time. ;)

Romance

2004-11-29T15:16:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't done anything for awhile, but I've been so busy.

So I have been reading this series of romance novels. Everyone says that all romance novels are the same, "they're dirty!" Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but unless you've read one, you don't have any room to comment.

On a happy note, they are very good, romantic, humerous and kinky, my cup of tea. So if you are into romance novels, I recommend the Dark Series by Christine Feehan. So good!!

They are about these people who are from the Carpathenian Mountain range in Europe. They are a different species of human, a mix between us and vampires. They are really powerful and can shape shift, but their only real source of nutrients comes from human or animal blood. They do not kill unless necessary but they do suck blood, in a very sensual way. Also, there are way more males than females, so they must be protected and cherished; the males are constantly in search of the other half of their soul, their lifemate. Once they find their lifemate, he binds her to him for all eternity; there cannot be one without the other.

So, if you are a romance fenatic or just want to get "in the mood" you should read one of these, they can be really hott!! ;)

My Big Strong Man

2004-11-16T20:15:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I've been trying to think of other topics to write about besides my boyfriend, but my mind keeps wondering back to him. So here it is...

Jason is the man of my dreams. He is very respectful, caring, loving, and HOTT!! Plus he makes me laugh all of the time; he never ceases to amaze me. The other night we were sitting on his couch watching Saturday Night Live, and I turn to him and asked if everything was alright? (He was being quiet, very unlike him) He said that everything was fine, and just started stairing off into space again.

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter," I said with a smile.
"It's just that I've liked you for...years and now your finally my girlfriend. I love you."

How sweet is that?? What girl wouldn't want to hear something like that every now and then?? It made me blush, luckily we were sitting in the dark. We just started making-out instead.

He always sounds happy to hear from me, and always has a smile on his face when he sees me. I can't eve imagine a better man than him. Also he understands that I have friends that I want to hang-out with and things that I need to do without him. I understand that the same goes for him and this understanding we have makes the time that we do spend together that much more special.

I love him so much, not only is he my boyfriend, but he is one of my best friends as well.

J2K RULES!!!! ;)

People Who Make You Cry

2004-11-15T19:09:00.000-08:00

Has there ever been someone in your life that you just feel is in it to make your life misarable??? I think that there is someone like that in all of our lives. God puts them there as a challenge; an obstacle that needs to be overcome. For the purpose of this being on the internet, and the person that I am talking about is obsessed with computers, I won't mention any names.

I have known this person my whole life, and at times he has been supporting and loving (although right now I can't think of anytimes), he has made me cry more than anyone I know. Maybe it is because they have really high expectations for me and expect that sinse college was a breeze for them, it should be like that for everyone, including me.

I am not trying to be a pessimistic person; I've heard that's a real turn off, but I need to get this off my chest. Life is not easy and anyone who thinks it is, is really ignorant, but I know that it is not impossible. God only gives us what we can handle and life is something he gives us, something that should be treasured and something that we have to work at. As far as this challenge, this person, that's he has placed in my life, I think that the only way to conquer this obstacle is to just try to not let it bother me. I've tried reason and I've tried honesty, but this shit head can't or won't understand. Although I know that there is no way to avoid him, so...I don't know. Maybe I'll just try like hell and hope that I have the strength.

If that doesn't work, there's always death ;)

Shaking the Room

2004-11-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

Hello and Good Morning.

You may be wondering why you have chosen to come to this particular spot. Let me tell you, there is something that subconsciously draws you toward this place; it is the place where all of your dreams come true.

This is a sensual place of passion and emotion and life. Like the title implies, this will not only shake up your room but be the earthquake of you life.

First of all, to get the ball(s) rolling you have to understand somethings about your self that you may not have know before.

1) You are a God or Goddess => If you start believing that your one, you may start acting like one and you may suprise yourself. Two things can happen one, you become very arrogant and everyone thinks your a stuck up asshole or two, you just have this feeling about you that people admire and you are able to hold yourself well under any conditions. If you play this off right, most will be in the second category and you'll feel that much better about yourself.

IMPORTANT=> Don't loose sight of who you are, your morals, goals and beliefs. If you loose these then you are a fake. Make them work to your advantage and people will love you for who you are and not what you can do for them. :)

For more important tips about shaking the room check back in a day, week, month or year, or just call me *wink, wink*